Dodge Llama spit? I was wrong, so wrong!

So, today was planned as an early flight up to Cusco, the original capital of the Incas (or as we learned, more correctly of the Quechua, who were ruled by their leader who was 'the' Inca), followed by a quiet day to start our acclimitisation to the elevation.

We reached Cusco as planned and it is a fantastic town with historic architecture everywhere - massive Inca walls, gorgeous Spanish colonial cathedrals, quaint old streets, etc. It's at an elevation of 3,400m, versus the 2,200 of the 'mighty' Mt Kosciuszko, the highest mountain in Australia (to reach Machu Picchu we'll be trekking up to about 4,500m).

After checking in and meeting our lovely guide Efraim we had lovely stroll through the town, seeing the plaza, some Inca architecture, etc. Had lunch at Heidi's and the view over all of the tiled roofs was gorgeous. All going well so far. Then Effy suggested a lovely outdoor museum where they had uncovered an Inca complex of tombs, pottery kilns and metal smelting furnaces.

Wasn't it lovely when we entered the museum grounds to find a gorgeous Vicuña? They are a slender-bodied doe-eyed version of a Llama that produces the finest wool in the world (it can only be shorn once every 3 years), and the best part - Effy assured us they didn't spit.

One came over and was very friendly to me - let me get close, scratch it's chin, then it's neck; but then I started to get worried. Clearly this vicuña had been down to the erotic pottery display in Lima previously and was inspired to live up to its cultural heritage. It started to nose around nether regions where I didn't want any 4 legged animal to go, and then when I didn't want that, it gave up on the foreplay and decided to get straight down to business and mount me! Not quite what I was planning to do with my afternoon, especially with so many people watching.

Clearly Peruvian vicuñas need to have more lessons in 'no means no!' at school, as this one got very pissed off when I didn't want to do my part to improve international relations. I can understand, it was just trying to be friendly and it was clearly trying to maintain a long Peruvian tradition, but I just wasn't in the mood. Not quite the reaction it was hoping for and he reacted as any red-blooded Latin male would - if I wasn't interested in him it was clearly because I was beneath contempt. If he could have talked he would have said (in a Spanish/Peruvian accent) "I spit on you! I spit in your face!". And so he did. Yes Effy, vicuña can spit.

Sigh. All that effort to dodge llama spit. In vain.

But at least he had taste. He decided I was the only one in our party worthy of continuing the ceramic tradition (what can I say? It must be the chiseled jaw or six-pack abs), but clearly everyone in our group was worthy of a little spit. After terrorising all seven of us as we tried to get up the path, we beat a hasty retreat and left him to survey his domain, frustrated but proud. Very proud.

I just can't wait for tomorrow. No really.